shittens (Zac's rejected submission to Urban Dictionary)
A mitten, glitten, or any other glovelike contraption used as both a hand warmer and as a tool for wiping ones self after successfully defecating. Many brands have small rolls of tissue paper built into the palm to make for a brisk, sanitized cleansing.
Little Timmy was saved the embarrassment of soiling his favorite snowsuit, when upon feeling an undeniable rustling in his bowels, he realized he was in fact wearing a pair of red and blue shittens.
synonyms: kakacuffs, shit mits, toilet gauntlets, don’t shakes, go-on-the-gos
